Some Days the Darkness Wins

The fight between me and Depression is like a long drawn out war. Since I’ve started running I haven’t had an huge victories, but I’ve slowly been gaining ground.
But I’m still at the point where each day is a battle that can be won or lost in a single moment.

Today is one of those days where I am loosing the battle. Pretty much everything that could go wrong today has. Add to that the constant stress I have been under due to our financial situation (which plays a part in the the things that have gone wrong today) and I’m just overwhelmed.
The war is not lost, tomorrow is another day and another battle. But today I just don’t have anything left in me to fight.
If you need me I’ll be under my blankie.



9 thoughts on “Some Days the Darkness Wins

  1. Whew! I feel you, sister! On those days, I have to be sure to listen to the only little tiny piece of my brain that the meds seemed to have touched that day and remember that it’s just one day – that the ick won’t last forever.

    Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly. I’m just glad I’m at least at the point in my treatment where there is a little piece of my brain that still has enough strength to tell me to hang in there “the battle may be lost, but the war is far from over. We live to fight another day”

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yep, today was a bad day for me. I could read the signs early on and self-medicated with two large mugs of hot tea. The caffeine just took me to a numb place rather than the dark place where I was headed. And so that makes me even more resentful to think that my “self” is really nothing more than a balance (or imbalance) of chemicals. My hip hurts, so I didn’t run. So much for that therapy. One more week until I see the therapist, though I don’t have much hope for it.

    Still, I’m grateful to know I’m not alone in this.


    • Yeah, I was teetering on the edge today and as more and more things went wrong I just couldn’t cope. And running was out of the question as I ran Monday & Tuesday night, so I really needed to give my legs a rest (as it was I had to take EJ for a walk this afternoon). Because I also have anxiety caffeine actually makes things worse for me. I would have had a drink, but I’m trying to make sure I don’t become an alcoholic.
      I’m sure the therapist will help a lot. Not over night, as even with the proper tools the war is a long one. But slowly but surely you’ll start gaining ground.

      Always remember, we are in this together! You are not alone!


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